Of Christmas letters and garage sales

A few weeks ago I was shopping at our local Target when I rounded a corner and ran smack dab into a Christmas/Halloween display. I was on the phone with my sister and I remarked to her that at that precise moment my head literally imploded! While it was very disconcerting and I was even a little perturbed by the blatant commercialization of Christmas it did not stop me from buying my Christmas cards that night! I had to hold myself back and refrain from getting them ready to go that evening. So, as I sit here and contemplate getting my mailing list together and questioning how soon is too soon to send the cards I am also considering the inclusion of a Christmas letter. I think I may have done one before but I've always been a bit 'put off' by the letter writing process. I've just never seen us as Christmas letter people. Of course Paul could not care less and therefore he is no help. The question remains... letter or no letter. The internal debate continues.

To quote Monty Python, now for something completely different...

We had a garage sale yesterday. Let me preface this bit with the following statement: I LOATHE garage sales. I do not like other people picking over my junk and passing judgement on it. Now, you can tell me all day long that isn't the case, but you and I both know it is. People drive by and cast their disapproving stares in the direction of your former treasure turned junk. My in-laws joined us for the day and it was really nice.

We were following the advice of Dave Ramsey to sell everything...sell so much that the kids begin to think they're next! So we unloaded about 15 years worth of junk (hey, it's mine and I can call it junk!). It was a really successful day. We'll be sending a pretty respectable check off to American Express. We're on a course, slow moving as it may be, to retire all of our debt in the next 2 years. If there's one thing Paul and I are good at it's been eliminating debt and then recreating it! We're shooting for the elimination but not the recreation this time around.

It's been a conscious effort on our part to be better with money, both in how we handle it and how we think about it, so that we don't pass on any toxic money habits to our child. For my part, it's been about confronting the issues and dealing with them rather than hiding and fighting the urge to vomit when the subject comes up. I grew up in a house that was miserable when Dad would get out the adding machine and spreadsheet. Yes, a real adding machine and an old-fashioned spreadsheet, my father was a CPA. For as smart as my Dad was, and he was brilliant, he wasn't great with our family finances. Every bill paying session was one that found us on the brink of broke, or at least that is what he communicated to us, sometimes subtley and sometimes verbatim. So to say that I have money anxiety is a terrible understatement. I'm working on it though. The course we began, Financial Peace University, has been helpful in a lot of ways and off putting for me in others. I'm INTENSELY private about financial matters. I find it uncomfortable to discuss money with others, especially strangers, and while there's no real pressure to discuss your money in the class it was still very uncomfortable. Overall it's been an elightening program even though our attendance has been what you might call great. We have learned some valuable skills, however.

In addition to trying not to send Christmas cards too early I'm also trying to delay putting up our Christmas trees. I'm actually feeling like decorating this year, and I figure I should strike while the iron is hot considering for a few years we didn't even put up a tree at all. I've been thinking, which is always dangerous, that this really might be our last childless Christmas. I don't like to get my hopes up too high but it just might be it. Our wait will be 39 months tomorrow. We could be getting a call some time in April or May of 2010, dare I even think it.

So, until the next post...

Lisa

A much needed change and 38 months of the same...

It's a BEAUTIFUL day in this steambath known as Florida. It's cool. There's a nice breeze. I got up this morning at 6:30 (on Saturday, no less) and opened all the windows in the house. It was still dark outside but my windows were wide open, much to my thin-blooded husband's dismay! We rented a steam cleaner and while I sit here and type this, Paul is cleaning our carpet. We're trying to prolong the life of the already 10 year old "stain resistant" berber. I figure we have until the first of the year until I can't stand looking at it any longer!

I was inspired by this beautiful day to do some much needed yucky tasks. I scrubbed our back french doors and the screen doors. Man, people who have come to visit have been awfully nice and haven't said anything about how filthy those doors were! Thank you. The dog got a nice visit to the groomers today. She was in need of a spa day. She's all pretty for her long weekend at her Nanny's.

Paul and I leave for Cedar Key on Thursday afternoon. We're going to spend the weekend there in celebration (although a weekend early) of our 15th wedding anniversary. We're really looking forward to this trip because we've never been when the weather was cool. This weekend is the big Cedar Key Seafood and Art festival so the place will be overrun with tourists. We've been told that next weekend the place is a ghost town. Just the way we like it! Hopefully we'll get some birding in and some nice long walks. I can't adequately express how much I need a mini-vacay from the job.

I talked to my niece today, well I talked and she listened really, but I miss that little booger. She's growing up so fast and I can't believe she'll be 3 in March. Our baby (yes, Kim, I said OUR baby ;) ) is almost 3... pretty soon she'll be going to college (Harvard, don't you know). I suppose that the only really good thing about this adoption taking so long is that Devon will be available for babysitting by the time our EG gets here! And I'm only partly kidding there, folks! Our adoption agency received referrals for 9 healthy babies ranging from 7-21 months this week. The families who received these referrals were logged in to the CCAA March 26 of 2006. Do the math (mainly because math was never my strong suit) and you'll figure out that we won't be hearing anything until March/April of 2010, which we knew but it still stinks. So, that's the update. The news from the front, if you will, and really what choice do you have reading this from wherever you are reading it... :)

Thanks for stopping in and I look forwarding to chatting with you all real soon.

Lisa

Happy Birthday, Paul!

Tomorrow, Sept. 23, is Paul's 4oth birthday. Can you believe it? Paul is 40! It's hard to imagine that it's been 23 years since we met and began dating. When I think of Paul, especially around his birthday, I think of his Grandpa Harp as well. On his 80th birthday Grandpa Harp, who lost his parents at a young age, told a story about his promise to his parents, to always be a good boy, that he lived his life with that in mind. I remember how moved Paul was by that story and how he, too, has always tried to be a good boy. Interestingly enough it isn't something Paul must try to do (nor was it for Grandpa Harp, either). He is genuinely a good man. He's thoughtful, kind, loving, patient, generous and humble. The list goes on and on. I can't tell you how fortunate I am to have chosen so wisely all those years ago. Shoot when you're 15, you don't know a darn thing and while I might have had an inkling that he would turn out to be such a great man I was mostly just dazzled by how handsome he was, and is! :)

Even though I am terribly biased I believe we, who know and love him, are blessed to have him. So on September 23 I will say, as I do everyday, thanks be to God for this husband of mine, and thanks to his parents, for raising such a wonderful man. You did good!

Happy Birthday, Paul. I love you more than you can ever know.
Your wife,
Lisa

See two posts before...

Our agency announced the referral of 7 healthy baby girls this week. It would seem that 7 is the magic number and it would seem that the time between referrals is about a month now. I don't know what that means for us exactly. We've been in this game for 36 months this month so perhaps we really are closing in on a date? Sometimes reporting this news feels like not really reporting anything at all. There you have it... :)

Love to you all,

Lisa and Paul

Enough already, Jon Gosselin

I think that Jon Gosselin, of the now infamous Jon and Kate Plus 8, is in need of a PR consultant. Seriously, if he's got one they aren't doing their job. LAY LOW, you bonehead. Stay out of the limelight, stop catting around with 22 year old old floozies and have a little respect, if not for the mother of your children, then for your CHILDREN. Good grief.

He released a statement recently wherein he claims to be trying to lay low for the sake of his children who he fears will one day GOOGLE him and see the debauchery that has been his habit of late. YA THINK, Jon?

While I understand the difficulty of an impending divorce (yeah, it looks real difficult, partying on the French Riviera with a 22 year old girl) and there was a time when he might have had my sympathies but those days are over. The argument has been made that he was so young, 22 himself, when he and Kate married and he's making up for lost time. I would suggest that time wasn't lost... it was spent raising children. Also, should someone point out to Jon how ridiculous he looks so openly chasing after his lost youth? An earring. A young girl on his arm. A motorcycle. Parties in the Hamptons, and with French designer Christian Audigier and now Michael Lohan (that's an entirely different rant, folks). I hate to say it (no, no I don't) but Jon Gosselin, you are a cliche, pal.

Well... I've gotten that off my chest. For now. :)

News...of sorts

Our agency just announced the referral of 7 healthy baby girls yesterday. The families who received these referrals have been waiting 40 months and were logged in to the CCAA on March 22, 2006. As you know we were logged into the the CCAA on August 16, 2006. That's the latest. Our family coordinator advised us at the end of 2008 that we shouldn't expect to hear anything until 2010 and that seems to be true, if then.

I would ask for your continued prayers. It's tough.

Each of you is a blessing to us and we value your love and support more than you will know.

Lisa

Grudges and stuff

You know, what they say is true. Harboring a grudge, or hurt feelings, is really only punishment for yourself. I am certain that the person with whom I am angry has no idea and really wouldn't own their part of it anyway. So, why then do I find it so hard to let it go?

How do you find a way to love and accept people and all their warts when you're constantly smarting over their barbs? Prayer? I do a LOT of that. Forgiveness? Trying. It's tough though. I dunno.

Jon and Kate...

I am, like so many folks, addicted to trash TV and magazines. I'm not proud of it, but it's a fact. There is nothing I want to see more than a good episode of the Real Housewives, or some other trashy Bravo network show.

My addiction to trash has taken a serious turn recently. I'm talking about the media frenzy that is Jon and Kate plus 8. I'm both saddened and sickened by what appears to be their marital problems. I keep thinking about those 8 precious children, and while I am sure that now they are very well insulated from the media hoopla that surrounds their parents, one day they will have access to this garbage. They will read about their father's alleged infidelity, their mother's controlling and domineering behavior. One day they'll know things about their parents that children simply shouldn't know.

It is too easy to blame their parents for this. Sure, Jon and Kate put their children on display for the world to see, and in doing so have left them all vulnerable to media scrutiny. I dare say that anyone I know wouldn't make the same choices that Jon and Kate have made. They have 8 mouths to feed. 8 college tuitions to prepare for. I would be hard pressed to turn down a paying gig that would help me feed my family. Who can blame them for answering the door when TLC came a'knockin'.

It's been interesting to watch the media coverage of this private (as if they will ever have a private life again) crisis. First, the allegations that Jon was having an affair with a younger woman. Then, the reports that it was Kate's controlling and demeaning treatment of Jon that made him step out. This one I love, blame the woman. If she'd been more understanding, more patient, and less controlling why this wouldn't have happened, if it did happen. It's ridiculous. Although I am guilty of thinking it myself. Why, if Kate was warmer and more loving to her husband, blah, blah, blah... Now, family members are crawling out of the woodwork with their individual stories of how the marriage was a sham for quite some time and essentially the couple have been estranged for months. I find this twist in the story especially interesting. No one on the outside of a marriage can accurately or fairly say what it's like.

The trash lover in me is titillated by all of this. Ooh.. who is at fault? Did he really have an affair? Did she? How could he stand to be treated the way she treats him? Ooh... enquiring minds, etc. But sadly, the show isn't called Jon and Kate. It's about a family and the all important +8, the folks who have the most to lose from all of this. My heart breaks for them and their parents. Marital strife is never easy. It's painful and devastating. I can only imagine how the media attention makes it all the more so.

Tonight when the season premieres I, like millions of others, will be watching to see if there's a crack in the facade. It's shameful, but I'll be doing it and all the while I'll be praying for those 8 gorgeous children, that their parents get their act together and do what's right for their family.
I'll be praying for them, all of them.

Furniture Shopping

One chest of drawers- check
one armoire- check
one convertible crib- check...sort of

We schlepped down to IKEA on Monday morning with our dear friends Kevin and Susie. I had my print-outs. I did my research. I was prepared. I even checked online to make sure that what I wanted was actually in stock. It was, according to the internet gods. Come time to check out I go to the correct aisle and bin number, which in itself is a feat as there are NOOO customer service representatives at IKEA who can actually help you, and guess what? No convertible crib. They are out of stock. It would seem that the internet gods are liars! As an aside IKEA is so inexpensive (cheap sounds, well, cheap) because they don't pay people to help customers. It's ingenious really! Anyway back to the crisis at hand. No crib. If you know how long I had to psyche myself into actually making this purchase you would know how difficult it was not to leave the damn store with a crib.

Susie has a few things she needs to go back and pick up so we're going back tomorrow morning. I figure I'll check on line and see if they have restocked the crib. Again, according the to the internet they have them in stock. I call the store just to verify. Guess what?! Nope. No cribs and they don't know when they can expect to get them in. I looked at buying the item on line and having it shipped to us. That would eliminate this constant back and forth to south side of Orlando. The crib itself is priced at 139.00. Not bad. Shipping cost? Are you ready for this? 140.00! Yes as much to ship as the dang thing costs. I'm no rocket scientist folks, but even I know that's ridiculous. So we did some shopping on the good old fashioned babiesrus. Paul and I found one we liked more than the IKEA model for just a few bucks more and better still? Shipping is only 30 bucks! We did what any other thinking couple would do, no we didn't postpone buying a crib until we were certain we were getting our baby, are you nuts!?, we ordered the convertible crib for 159 from babiesrus and can expect it delivered to our doorstep in the next 6-10 days. Duh!

I know that my niece will sleep soundly in her crib away from home with she comes to visit Aunt Seesha and Uncle Po, and that one day sooner than later, our own dear daughter will rest just as easily. No thanks to IKEA! :)

What's new?

Wouldn't you know it- nothing much! Month 31 went by without so much as a hoorah. There's not much to report these days. Our niece turned two on the 23rd this month. It's hard to believe that she's 2 already and might I add a little terrible, too. She's so big and so smart but I'm a little biased. She's turned into quite the little clown. She'll do almost anything for a laugh...hmmm, where does she get that I wonder? Devon's growing so fast she'll probably be old enough to babysit her cousin when we finally get Emma!

Paul and I are planning on keeping Devon for a week in July so that my sister's other childcare (that would be Devon's other grandmother, who despite raising a complete imbecile, Devon's sperm donor, is doing a wonderful job with Devon) can take a vacation. I am looking forward to that. Keeping her in July means that I need to go ahead and get a crib. She's much too big to sleep in the pack-n-play anymore so a crib it is. I used to want a really super nice crib that I priced at Babys-r-us and have come to realize that a crib is a crib and as long as it's safe then it'll do. So over the spring break Paul and I are schlepping out to the IKEA to pick up a crib that converts to a toddler bed, a wardrobe/armoire and a chest of drawers for the second bedroom. The only trepidation I have is in buying a crib. I know we'll need it when Devon comes but I have horrible visions of having this stinkin' crib and some God awful thing happens and I don't need it. Can anyone say pessimist?

I'm still working on staying positive. It's not too hard to do as I suffer from Scarlet O'Hara syndrome and always have. That is to say that I firmly believe in thinking about difficult things tomorrow.

Paul and I are off to New York for a few days in the near future and while it will be a working vacation it will be a vacation. It's a good chance for our us to get away from everything here and just enjoy the ride. I know he needs that and so do I. Hopefully I'll get some new pictures posted when we return. Ooohhh.... the anticipation must be killing you!

Peace and blessings,
Lisa

30 Months

Today's the 30 month anniversary of our log-in date. In celebration of this momentous occasion we are going down to the USCIS offices on Saturday morning and waiting to have our fingerprints redone (third time) and our immigration paperwork updated. This little venture will allow us to keep current and would allow us to bring our daughter home with no hassles from the Department of Homeland Security and Immigration. Apparently, you don't ever want any hassles with the Dept. of Homeland Security, they might just Abu Ghraib your butt, or Gitmo you. :)

Not to burst any bubbles

We heard from our family coordinator about this latest round of renewal paperwork. The news is a double-edged sword, folks. We were pretty much told not to expect a referral anytime in 2009. Remember my last post? About looking at the positive side? Well, I'm trying to do that with this bit of news also. There's something comforting in knowing that it won't be this year. I know that sounds crazy but the worst part of all of this is the disappointment and let down when we realize that yet again there's no referral for us. It alleviates the constant worry and waiting anxiety. This way we know. It's not this year. We won't be watching each month tick away and wonder could it be this month? In fact, this news really will allow us to reclaim our lives. We've sort of lived only half our lives. I know this doesn't make much sense but we've been living for an eventuality. Waiting for the next holiday because it will be better with Emma and we've not been taking the time to enjoy the here and now. I don't know how this happened to us, but it did. We're still 1Million % committed to growing our family but we're now also committed to enjoying our family as it is today. That's the news you can use from this end of the keyboard.

In an effort to capitalize on the positive...

I don't generally make new year's resolutions, and this is not what this is... not really, but I've decided to take note of the positive things about our endless wait for word from China. So, to that end here are a few of the things i have enjoyed this year that i won't be able to enjoy once we have our daughter... 1) last night I sat my butt in my favorite chair and read Tori Spellings' trashy memoir cover to cover, uninterrupted no less. And it was Goooooood! 2) This past Saturday while Paul lay in a Nyquil induced coma I watched Bravo's marathon of The Real Housewives of New York, ALLLLL day! And it was gooooood! 3) Tonight, because I'm tired and he's tired and simply because we can, I'm going to our favorite Sushi restaurant for dinner. Spicy tuna roll here I come! 4) and sometime in February we're getting away for a few days just by ourselves. You've got to accentuate the positive.... you know the rest of the song! :)